Hope nobody thought that I was going to stop blogging just because I was in remission! Perish the thought!

By: Robin Harry

Hope nobody thought that I was going to stop blogging just because I was in remission! Perish the thought! My body may be in remission, but my life isn’t yet 🙂

Today I had a follow-up with my fertility specialist. I’ve mentioned before that I don’t like these appointments. The fertility appointments fill me with anxiety; there are always decisions to be made, options to consider, timelines to meet, waiting to do. Also, my fertility specialist isn’t my favourite doctor. I mean – she’s friendly, she’s a great doctor, and she certainly knows what she’s talking about; it also helps that one of her specialties is young cancer patients facing infertility post-chemo. However, she doesn’t strike me as the most empathetic person, and she can be a little pushy with her suggestions/mandates. I guess that’s something I can live with though; it’s the Gregory House dilemma – sometimes you have to take a brilliant doctor over a “nice” doctor.

Anyway, we basically went over the timeline of my treatment – when I finished chemotherapy, when I finished radiation, when my menstrual cycle started back up, etc. She reiterated that my ovarian reserve was already pretty low before I started chemotherapy. The question now remains – what’s left? My cycle has been a tad irregular, and she’s concerned that the eggs left in my ovarian basket may no longer be viable. It would be like having the reproductive system of a 50-yr-old woman teetering over the menopausal cliff…

So the plan is to do cycle monitoring. I’ll have a series of tests in a couple weeks – bloodwork, ultrasounds – over my next menstrual cycle. That will determine if it’s even possible to save a few.

Funny, my doctor seems to think that I’ve made up my mind to do IVF already. I don’t know exactly where she got that idea, because I truly haven’t decided. I would love, LOVE to be a mother and raise little nerds like myself, teaching them about God, the beauty of music, the wonders of science and literature, and why Batman is way cooler than Superman (they should probably learn a sport too so that they’re not total social outcasts…but I digress). But I would also need to meet their father first. Should I do it just in case? Or let nature take its course and trust in God’s providence? What to do, what to do…

On a less stressful note; the mysterious ways of God allowed me to meet another cancer patient at the fertility clinic today. She’s close to my age and has the same cancer I do did! I don’t recall meeting another mediastinal B-cell patient, I’m SO glad I got to meet her and we got to connect. She’s exactly where I was back in the beginning, so I can totally relate, and I know how overwhelming those appointments can be. Ours is an unfortunate club to be in, but it’s nice – for both of us – to not be alone in the club.


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