I’ve never been much of a resolution person. I think if changes need to be made in life, then they don’t need to be put into effect when we change the calendar – they should just be done.
In 2012, I would like to:
1. Not have cancer.
I think this one’s a given, right? This is pretty much beyond my control – I’ve been a good girl and done all the treatments. All I can do now is wait, hope and pray to God that everything worked and that my scans come up clean in a few months. That would be pretty flippin’ fantastic.
2. Be healthier.
Now this is sort of within my control. This is indirectly related to having cancer and the treatment. Given the long list of possible long term side-effects of both the chemo and the radiation, I do have to be on my best behaviour. Eat right, exercise, drink more water, sleep well, etc. etc. I have to lose the cancer weight too.
3. Study my Bible.
I knew this was something I had to work on, but today’s church service pretty much drilled it in. But I’m excited about this particular task. We got a reading program to work with today at church, but I think I’m also going to start with the book of Job. What better book for a cancer patient to read than the story of a stoic man who watched his life crumble around him through no fault of his own?
4. Look good, feel better.
When I lost my hair, the importance of my appearance struck me like it never had before. I had never been so aware of the person staring back in the mirror, and every detail of my face somehow became relevant. Somehow, though, this actually made me feel more comfortable and confident in my own skin. I don’t want to lose sight of that, and I don’t want to hide behind my hair when it grows back (which it is, by the way, and I love it). While I don’t intend to become a Kardashian with pounds of makeup and spider eyelashes, I am determined now to minimize the number of times I leave the house looking like I don’t care what I look like. I’m going to put a little more effort into my appearance – accessorize; wear colours other than black, grey and purple; wear clothes that fit well; take better care of my skin, etc.
5. Go on a vacation.
Good grief, do I ever need one of those. I’m an explorer kind of person and like to see new places, but I think I’m overdue for a lie-on-the-beach-all-day kind of vacations. (With sunscreen, of course. That’s important for cancer survivors). I’d love to do nothing for a week. What would be even better than a vacation? A free vacation….come on Costa Rica sweepstakes…
6. Take chances and try new things.
I’m a pretty conservative person, for the most part. However, I turn 30 this year, and if things had gone a bit differently, me reaching that milestone would have been a bit less probable. So again, while I don’t intend to become a Kardashian and marry some dude that I’ll divorce in a couple months, I would like to try new things, things that I would have been hesitant to do before. If I can survive cancer, anything else should be relatively a piece of cake, right? Maybe this will be the year I learn how to skate…
7. Read more books.
I used to be such a bookworm as a child. University and its life-sucking textbooks sort of took the joy of reading away, but I really do miss losing myself in a good story. So I’m going to read more. I just got my library card back, and I’ve already completed one novel for the year so far. Heat Wave, by Richard Castle. It’s a work of fiction, written by a fictional TV author, who bases the novel’s characters on himself and other TV characters, but thanks the actors in his acknowledgments…that level of meta-referencing is fascinating!! But I digress…
8. Get involved in cancer advocacy.
I would love to be able to use this experience to help others in some way. Lymphoma is underappreciated (for lack of a better word), and the young adult demographic is sadly not well understood and under-represented. So I would like to help in any way I can to improve both of these things. I’d also love the chance to volunteer at different cancer related events.
So those are my plans for 2012. None of them are particularly earth shattering or difficult to accomplish (except maybe the getting over cancer thing – that could just possibly be life changing). But I think if I take them all one day at a time, I think I can make the most of every day.